Sunday, 19 April 2015

The Pain Returns

Pain this morning is much higher than it has been for the last few days, and this leaves me feeling like I am moving backwards again when all I want in the world is to move forward.

Today, I have no energy, no conversation and no inclination to do anything except sleep.

I did see an interesting article that I picked up via Twitter (@movingfwdpain if you want to connect with me) about Mind Body Syndrome which seemed interesting although I suspect I have a fair few medical investigations yet to complete before anyone starts to consider this pain as being linked to my mind.  I will read up on it later.

The pain is coming and going, but much stronger than yesterday, which turned out pretty good in the end.  No higher than 5/10 all day which is fabulous.  This morning has already gone as high as 6/10 but not constantly so its hard to track.

I am due to return to my GP on 28th April but I'm not sure I can wait that long.  I really think I need to get my amitriptyline dose increased to get the pain under control so I can get back to work.  Problem is, of all the doctors I have seen at my surgery, only one has been forward thinking enough to give me amitriptyline out of maybe 8 different doctors that I have pleaded with to give me something for the pain and he was a locum.  

Today stretches ahead as a big cloud of grey.  I am hoping it clears by the afternoon so that I can at least get out and walk my dog for an hour but at the moment, it is hard to imagine how I will find the energy.

Oh, and just so you know, I did make it to the supermarket yesterday and although I was in pain, I managed to walk tall in my heels and hold my head up reasonably high.  I didn't see anyone I knew which was a relief.  In all, we were out for about 30 minutes and I was very happy to get home again.

Pain is hideous.  Pain without a known cause is worse.  If it is all in my mind, it is hard to see how I can lift myself out of it whilst the pain is raging.  A vicious circle it seems......

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