Sunday, 19 April 2015
The Pain Returns
Pain this morning is much higher than it has been for the last few days, and this leaves me feeling like I am moving backwards again when all I want in the world is to move forward.
Today, I have no energy, no conversation and no inclination to do anything except sleep.
I did see an interesting article that I picked up via Twitter (@movingfwdpain if you want to connect with me) about Mind Body Syndrome which seemed interesting although I suspect I have a fair few medical investigations yet to complete before anyone starts to consider this pain as being linked to my mind. I will read up on it later.
The pain is coming and going, but much stronger than yesterday, which turned out pretty good in the end. No higher than 5/10 all day which is fabulous. This morning has already gone as high as 6/10 but not constantly so its hard to track.
I am due to return to my GP on 28th April but I'm not sure I can wait that long. I really think I need to get my amitriptyline dose increased to get the pain under control so I can get back to work. Problem is, of all the doctors I have seen at my surgery, only one has been forward thinking enough to give me amitriptyline out of maybe 8 different doctors that I have pleaded with to give me something for the pain and he was a locum.
Today stretches ahead as a big cloud of grey. I am hoping it clears by the afternoon so that I can at least get out and walk my dog for an hour but at the moment, it is hard to imagine how I will find the energy.
Oh, and just so you know, I did make it to the supermarket yesterday and although I was in pain, I managed to walk tall in my heels and hold my head up reasonably high. I didn't see anyone I knew which was a relief. In all, we were out for about 30 minutes and I was very happy to get home again.
Pain is hideous. Pain without a known cause is worse. If it is all in my mind, it is hard to see how I can lift myself out of it whilst the pain is raging. A vicious circle it seems......