Monday, 20 April 2015

One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back

Today has been hugely disappointing.  Having built my hopes up that the medication was starting to work through tracking my pain and seeing a small reduction, this morning the pain was off the scale.  I was in so much pain, I could hardly breathe.

By 10am I was back in bed, clutching a hot water bottle to my left side, crying in frustration and pain.

It is hard to see how I can ever hope to get my life back.  Every morning is about pain.

I know that I am fortunate, and that there are many people who would give anything to have pain that only strikes for part of a given day, but for me, it seems like an insurmountable climb.

It is also hard to find any enthusiasm for how I look.  I am putting on weight (not moving much and comfort eating is not a great weight loss technique) and I can barely muster enough care to even put my contact lenses in.

I'm going to leave it there for today.  Reading about how rubbish I feel is not entertaining for anyone!

Sorry to moan......tomorrow might be better.  Fingers crossed.

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